


The Short End Of The Stick

by Azlinne



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: And angst, Anxiety Attacks, Blood, Mention of - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-18 23:43:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14862570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azlinne/pseuds/Azlinne
Summary: I see a lot of posts about Sides working till they are sick but what this:The sides working too hard stressing and all that good stuff but Virgil who is the embodiment of stress and Anxiety saps it all away from them making himself sick instead of them.Like Logan takes on too many projects Thomas starts getting stressed Logan is confused cause like he’s fine, but Virgil has been missing for weeks.Roman’s dreams have been getting a bit too dark but all roman sees as the grand adventures, not the sleep Thomas is losing because Virgil has been terrified and trying to stay by Thomas in the night to protect him but like… Remy hates Anxiety and refuses to be in the same room as him.Patton’s been reminiscing about the old days and Virgil is getting sick from it cause he can feel the regret and pain Thomas is in from some of those memories.Just you know things that the sides don’t think about cause that’s what Virgil is there for. If they knew wouldn’t they stop? Why does the brain bite off more than it can chew? Why do bad dreams happen? Why do you remember that one time you forgot to say bye? Those clearly aren’t things Anxiety controls but they cause Anxiety!





	1. Chapter 1

When Thomas was little Creativity sometimes got a bit out of control and Virgil being a little-known side ended up feeling the worst of it. Dreams would turn dark and Virgil felt every rip and tear from the monsters in the night, he would beg and plead for Thomas to wake up sobbing sometimes bleeding. All he wanted to do was save Thomas but Thomas would scream and thrash doing anything he could to get away from Virgil like he was some kind of monster. Remy hated him for that. No one seemed to understand that it was Roman who made those dreams… all he wanted to do was keep Thomas safe and if that meant staying by his side when he slept he really didn’t understand why Remy refused to be in the room as well. Why couldn’t Creativity just see that sometimes his adventures were too dark for Thomas and him to face alone? Why couldn’t anyone see that if Virgil didn’t wake Thomas he would suffer more and Virgil might just break beyond repair…?

When Thomas was in school Virgil got his name, Anxiety. Everyday Logic passed his thirst for knowledge on to Thomas and every day that work list got bigger and bigger. Virgil tried to do his best tried to use his influence to get logan pull back even just a little bit as the years slowly passed things started becoming out of hand. What once was Anxiety trying to deter the idea of taking too much work had turned into Virgil collapsed in his room crying as Thomas’s stress felt like it was tearing his stomach apart. Why would logic never stop? Why didn’t Logan see how much he was hurting Thomas… Hurting him…

By the time Thomas had moved into his first apartment alone, Virgil was hardly on good terms with anyone. Patton was the most welcoming out of any side but even that didn’t stop Morality from bringing up things that were best left in the past. Sad memories, Bad times, Embarrassing happenstances nothing seemed to be off-limits to the emotional side and for Virgil that meant many Many instances to fuel the Anxiety, he was made up of. Some days Virgil didn’t have the energy to get out of bed, feeling sick… Making Thomas sick… He had no way to fight… He had lost his will to fight. They all wanted to point fingers, it was Anxiety that came in the dead of night to ruin sleep and dreams…. Anxiety that stopped that will for new knowledge …. Anxiety that ruined even the simplest of memories… It was all his fault and he suffered through every moment of it alone…

——

Thomas had had a rough couple of nights, Every night a Virgil would be waiting for him bundled up in his hoodie and blankets, Every night Remy would throw a fit over Virgil being there and every night after Sleep came back Virgil would wake him from a nightmare looking like death. It was a familiar routine but that night Virgil didn’t come, there was a sigh of relief at the chance to sleep in peace but by the next morning, he was anything but happy. The night had been horrible and he felt sick to his stomach as he woke up in a cold sweat without Virgil there to wake him up.

Virgil had stayed in his room too weak to even attempt to get to Thomas His body hurt from the constant nightmares and now as Thomas woke up the new waves of Nausea and fear set over him like waves as he silently begged for it to all just stop.

_Someone help me._

His voice was shaky as he tried to move, as he tried to will his beaten body over to the door only to crash down with a loud thud. A broken sob escaped as he curled in on himself, He couldn’t do it. His breath caught in his throat as he felt a new wave of fear crash down. There was a sound of feet trampling up the stairs ringing in his head know, were they coming for him? No… It couldn’t be to help, they… They must have wanted to Yell at him for not helping Thomas… For making him weak by keeping him up… This was all his fault and when they see him like this… When they seeing like this what would they do? They claimed to be friends know but would it last when they see there is an actual way to get rid of him.

His heart was pounding in his chest as he pushed himself back up. They were outside his door now he heard them calling his name. Virgil’s eye’s darted around he couldn’t Fight he had to run. His eyes landed on his window as he quickly tried to get to it he heard his door click open. There were arms around him yanking him away from his escape route. Virgil screamed an thrashed as if he was trying to get away from death’s door. This was just like the nightmares all over again this was it they could see everything every cute scrape and bruise every bit of sick pale skin every tear that he ever tried to hide. He was nothing but the worst parts of them all and they could now see how easy it was to destroy him…

Strong Arms held him close as the adrenaline in his body slowly subsided, he didn’t have the energy to move against them anymore as he slowly resigned to his fate. He felt the other Side shift and he started trembling and sobbing again. _Please don’t…_ A hand gently ran through his hair…

_Shhh, it’s okay. You’re safe now._


	2. Get out

_ Safe? _ They… Roman didn’t know what safe was. He shoved back against him a glare in his teary eyes. “Safe?! You’re the cause of all of this! Why couldn’t you just pull back! No you Think your stories are all sunshine and rainbows Princey?! They’re not!” Virgil’s voice distorted slightly as his voice got louder. “You want me to be safe?! Then why don’t you stop putting Danger in your nightmares! Years!  _ Years  _ I’ve been taking the hits! YEARS I’VE BEEN BLAMED FOR NEEDING TO WAKE THOMAS CAUSE YOU WENT TOO FAR! And now? And now you tell me I’m safe?! Safe from what Roman? You?!”

 

Logan’s voice cuts in, in an effort to prevent a problem before anyone else could respond. “Whoa! Virgil! Calm down! Roman-” 

 

“Me Calm down?” Virgil’s laugh was bitter and distorted he couldn’t stand that once again he was the bad guy he was the one that was being unreasonable even now. “How about you, Logan? When will you calm down? Aren’t you supposed to be logic? How come you’re not smart enough to see when you work Thomas to the bone when you make me- him sick! You’re just as bad as Roman is, sometimes I’d say even worse!” He hissed out the room was getting darker and as Virgil's heart pounded in his ears he thought back to all the times he had been on the ground simply because Logic just wanted to get done another page.

 

The others were starting to breathe a little too fast and the urge to run was making them shake. Patton spoke next, voice soft but nervous and confused, “Kiddo…. What are you talking about? Are you okay?”

 

Virgil’s gaze Sharply turned to Patton fury still in his eyes. “Am I okay!? No! Cause even when those two are not trying to destroy Thomas’s Psyche you're there! Bringing up every bad memory and forgotten feeling there is!”

 

The other three were all but frozen where they stood. A sick feeling like fear and anger swirling through them keeping them rooted to the floor. None of them knew what to say or do. Virgil had never so much as raised his voice at all that they could remember. They glanced at each other as the fear in their guts clawed at their throats making them all panic. They’d never felt like this before. It was like exhaustion and anger and so so much more. It hurt in an indescribable way. Roman managed to gasp out, “W-what’s happening?!”

 

Virgil wanted to laugh as every bit of anger and resentment he had been holding onto seemed to just overflow from him. “What’s happening is you walked into  _ my  _ room. Every bit of anxiety you gave Thomas, Every bit of Anxiety you forced me to take for you is in here.” his voice shook, that bitter feeling welling up into sadness and pain once more. He really was nothing to them, even know how could they not see just how much damage they had done?  “Get out…”


	3. I'll do it Tomorrow

Patton let out a shaky breath his whole body still trembling from whatever had happened in Virgil's room. “Is… Is that what Virgil feels like all the time?” He asked quietly almost flinching at the perceived loudness of his own voice.  

 

Logan was clearly doing his best to hold back tears as he cleared his throat, but his voice still cracked when he spoke. "I-I think... It must be. And what he said to each of us...."    
Roman was hugging himself tightly, anger visible in the lines of his body. "If he had just  _ told _ us! Or  _ said _ something! We would have listened-" 

  
Logan cut him off sharply, "Really? You think we would have listened? You're wrong. Think about it! We never listened to him! I'm  _ certain _ he tried at least once before. There is no way we didn't resent him for it."

 

Patton nodded slowly "Logan is Right Roman... Look at us even now you're still trying to blame him..." he slowly exhaled trying to calm down like he had seen Virgil Try for Thomas in the past. "We can't be turning on each other like this."

 

Roman sniffled and scrubbed his face with his palms, "So what do we do? You think we can just walk back in there and say 'Oops! Sorry!' and everything will be fine?" 

  
Logan gritted his teeth, "Why don't  _ you _ think it through! Hmm?"

 

Patton tried to be calm for them both but there was already such hostility in the air it was hard to keep anything in check. "We coulda least try to understand where he's coming from! even if a sorry isn't enough doing nothing is not an option either!"

 

Roman turned to stare at Patton. "So then... What do we do?"   
  
Logan stared, almost blindly, at the floor. "What  _ can _ we do?"

 

Patton bit his lip they all looked so ready to just give everything up, it wasn't fair, Virgil had been through so much for them and now they knew and ... And what they were just going to accept that as fact? "We could try to be better! I know you didn't want to stop- I didn't either but... But just continuing to hurt Virgil isn't an option!"

 

Logan took a deep breath eyes turning to Patton. “But… How can we fix this? What can we do that will actually help him? Should we ask him?”

 

Roman give a bitter little snort, “You really think that would go over well? ‘Hey, Virgil! We don’t know how to help you tell us!’ I’m sure that won't upset him either.”

 

Logan made a face at him, “Actually that sounds like the  _ best  _ option to me.”

 

Patton dropped his face in his hands, even now they were still fighting. “We should be talking about this like a family not jumping to conclusions for someone who isn’t even here. Asking is best.”

 

Roman mocked them under his breath and huffed out, “Right. Well, who wants to go in there and ask him?”

 

Logan just stared at him, “Wha- I- Why are you acting like this?! Patton is right! And if anyone else had asked that question I’d tell them to do it themselves, but you are being so terrible right now! Can’t you see that?” Logan looked to Patton, not sure if he was seeking backup, or….. 

 

Patton looked down “Logan is right kiddo… You’re being rather… Vicious. Don’t you want to make things better?”

 

There was a long silence as Roman just sort of stood there with his arms crossed glaring at the carpet. When Logan was tired of waiting he sighed and turned his back on Roman and moved towards Patton. 

 

“So, what do you say, Patton? Should we ask him now? Or give him some space? And do we go in together or-”

 

“I’ll do it. But I’ll do it tomorrow.” Roman sounded mad still. Too bad the others couldn’t see it was at himself.

Logan and Patton glanced at each other this was a little concerning after all of Roman’s outbursts but if they brought it up would he back out? “If you need us there we can come?” 

 

Roman nodded once but didn’t look at them. He kept his head high but his eyes down as he turned from them and went to his room.


	4. Please Say Something

Roman stepped into Virgil’s room quietly. He didn’t say anything right away and he didn’t look up. He hadn’t slept. He’d stayed up all night thinking about that tiny glimpse into Virgil’s emotions. It was haunting. He wasn’t sure if Virgil was sleeping or not. He kept his eyes on the floor.

 

Virgil didn't think he had the energy to fight anymore. He had heard someone enter but he made no move to get up from his spot or stop staring at the wall he was focused on. The night had been rough and though he wanted to he couldn't escape to sleep and now someone was here probably to call him out for being so weak and unable to do his job right... 

 

“You-” Roman winced at his own voice breaking the silence. But he’d started he couldn’t stop. “You’re very brave.” There was a long silence and it forced him to keep going. “Doing this alone for years…. Being strong enough to do this even when…. We made everything harder for you….” He looked up and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry.”

 

Virgil felt his throat tighten up at that he had been more then he was expecting, especially from Roman.  Everything in him told him to turn look to see just how sincere it was but he was scared if he did move that Roman would start laughing about him actually believing a lie and how everyone wanted him gone.  Why would Roman ever say he was strong And sorry? Roman had hated him for years right why would that change in a night?

 

Roman took a few steps closer lightly saying Virgil’s name when he didn’t respond. It was unsettling but he moved to sit next to the other, there was a light touch as he watched Virgil flinch at being turned. “Hey there Dark and Stormy, it’s okay.” 

 

Virgil looked a mess clearly ready to break down crying at any minute Everything swirling in his head told him that he was in danger, that Roman didn’t mean it but as Roman tried to shuffle them both around he couldn’t bring himself to fight back at all.

 

“Virgil, please… I know we are all a little hard-headed sometimes, but we never wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry that we did and that we made you feel like you just had to bear it and that we forced you to be as strong as you are. We-- … We all love you Virg… Please say something.”

 

The silence that followed was deafening as Roman’s pleading went unanswered. Virgil did curl up closer but refused to look at Roman as time ticked by. Minutes turned to hours before Virgil finally spoke up again, voice small and shaky as his internal conflict had finally settled down. “I believe you…”


End file.
